Litt humor påfyll takk!
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Ooooh... krenkerabalder!!!
Det der er vel trolig bare et midlertidig vikariat.
Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert.
Congress said, "Someone may steal from it at night."
So they created a night watchman position and hired a person for the job.
Then Congress said, "How does the watchman do his job without instruction?"
So they created a planning department and hired two people, one person to write the instructions, and one person to do time studies.
Then Congress said, "How will we know the night watchman is doing the tasks correctly?"
So they created a Quality Control department and hired two people. One was to do the studies and one was to write the reports.
Then Congress said, "How are these people going to get paid?"
So they created two positions: a time keeper and a payroll officer then hired two people.
Then Congress said, "Who will be accountable for all of these people?"
So they created an administrative section and hired three people, an Administrative Officer, Assistant Administrative Officer, and a Legal Secretary.
Then Congress said, "We have had this command in operation for one year and we are $918,000 over budget, we must cut back."
So they laid-off the night watchman.You think you have lived to be 65 and know who you are, then along comes someone and blows it all to hell!
An old telephone man sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee.
As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him...
She turned to the telephone man and asked, 'Are you really a telephone man?'
He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life installing telephone poles, PBX phone systems, data networks, trouble shooting down lines and short circuits, laying cable, installing wireless towers, living through 3 national strikes, installed radio / wire integration for General Price in Germany, ran an SB 86 switchboard in the Army and a 555 PBX back home and I've taught 100's of people to sell phone systems, so I guess I'm a telephone man.
She said, 'I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I shower, I think about naked women When I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women.'
The two sat sipping in silence.
A little while later, a young man sat down on the other side of the old telephone man and asked, 'Are you really a telephone man?'
He replied, 'I always thought I was, but I just found out I am a lesbian.
The attractive woman
A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him.
She says hello. He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from. So he says, 'Do you know me?' To which she replies, 'I think you're the father of one of my kids.'
Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, 'Are you the stripper from the bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery???'
She looks into his eyes and says calmly, 'No, I'm your son's teacher.'Ammo shortage
This morning I was able to buy two boxes of ammo.
I placed the boxes on the front seat and headed back home, but stopped at a gas station where
a drop-dead gorgeous blonde in a short skirt was filling up her car at the next pump.
She glanced at the two boxes of ammo, bent over and leaned in my passenger window, and said in a sexy voice,
"I'm a big believer in barter, old fella.
Would you be interested in trading sex for ammo?"
I thought for a few seconds and asked,
"What kind of ammo 'ya got?"
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Donald Trump dies and goes to Hell. Satan is already waiting for him.
“Well, I don't know what to do. See, you're on my list, but I have no free rooms for you. But you, you definitely have to stay in hell, so I'll have to find a solution. There are a few people here who aren't as bad as you are... I guess I'll let one go and you'll take their place. However, you can choose whose place you want to take.” Satan explains.
“Oh, that sounds okay I guess” says Trump.
Satan leads him to the first room and opens the door. In this room, there's a huge swimming pool. In it, Reagan is drowning. He goes down, then up, then down, then up, and he's gasping for air all the while.
“Oh, no,” says Trump. “That's not for me, I'm a poor swimmer.”
Satan opens the second door. The room is full of rocks and they see Nixon trying to break up the rocks with a wooden hammer.
“Nah, I have problems with my shoulders and my back, that'd be such a painful thing to do day after day.”
So Satan opens the third door. In the room, they see Bill Clinton lying on the floor, all tied up. Monica Lewinsky is lying on top of Clinton, giving him a blowjob.
Trump stares at the scene with a wide smile and say, “Ah, that I could endure!”
“Alright,” laughs Satan. “Monica, you're free to go!”
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Og nummerert i relieff?Den kommer vel i begrenset opplag?
What's the difference between Donald Trump and a flying pig?
The letter F.
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A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy
One carton of milk and if they have avocados, get 6."
A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.
The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"
He replied, "They had avocados."
If you're a woman, I'm sure you're going back to read it again!
Men will get it the first time.
My work is done here. -
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